All About The Boobiehatch!

Welcome to "The BoobieHatch." Before I explain the BoobieHatch & verify it’s morality, let me first introduce myself… I am Timothy Simpson… an original Variety Comic. I began as a Clown for The Ringling Bros Barnum & Baily Circus performing a slew of Clown skills & professional shenanigans. Then after about 2 years & a long work day, at the sound of the work bike horn i hopped into my tiny car & ran away from the tent to land a job at Disneyland as the Handsome Prince... Ok the Handsome Juggler… Ok the Juggler. For about 5 years it became an even Happier place on Earth. You're welcome! 

Now rather than pontificate further about how sensational I am & the many fantastic things i've done, let me just give you a few embellished highlights…
 -*Head lined as a Variety Comic for many Cruise Ships [A Head Liner is a scary looking ship]       -Hosted a Telethon for 'Placebos' & raised $30, 000 in Monopoly money                                             -*Performed for numerous Fairs, Festivals; Weddings & many other Social & Bodily Functions    -Appointed Capt. of the ‘Nose Diving Team’                                                                                                 -Appointed chief 'Neighborhood Watch' leader & deemed America's #1 "block head"                        -*Wrote Several Season for a Comedy Cable show & CBS TV Show earning a WGA   membership
 -Im a fontaholic!"                                                                                                                                                     -I hold the Guinness Book of World record for most overlooked participant of world records

The hardest question I am often asked is… ”What do you do?” Late in my life I found myself on stage getting a tasty cup of giddy fun called ‘Show Biz’.  I thought, “Wow! This is what I really like...this is what I really want…so this is what I really want to be.”  Imagine… a life filled with the exciting task of creating & discovering funny things… daily… & then hopefully entertaining with them nightly. Wow again! So i became obsessed with talents... JUGGLING [ALL TYPES] MUSIC [Ukuleles; Accordion; Harmonicas; Percussions; etc] & ART [Drawings; Cartoons; Conceptual & Pop Canvases]. So with a joke file of over 70,000 & counting, i could then simply routine & perform with all these skills... thus becoming a Variety Comic. But no one told me the reality of todays ‘Show BIZ’. Carve out a solid 20-40 min. act; promote it then & repeat it, over & over & over & over & over again. Rinse then repeat. Sell it. Package it. Push it. But what about all the new & improved routines? DAILY?! This gave way to 'The BoobieHatch', My think tank for everything i deem wild; zany; bold & relevant. So rather than banish my creativity into oblivion, i found a place where it could live & thrive. Incidentally, the name 'Boobiehatch' comes from an old vintage term synonymous to Looney Bin; Funny Farm; Bedlam; Insane Asylum, etc... [& for those of you who crave Boobies, there's only 1 here... so please, go away!] Anyway, this unharnessed nonsense is what makes my soul sing. I didn’t choose this life to become an ego salesman, I chose it for the promise & belief in the perpetual dream of discovery. Destiny’s little explorer. This is why i have decided to make my ENTIRE life the masterpiece. [As opposed to a 20 Min masterpiece] Do you see what I am saying?

Talents:

COMEDY

RIPE MELON WHISPERER

AIR BANJO

Ant Farm Hand

Chocolate Coin Collector

Sex Cymbal Virtuoso

PIE EATING

Windchime Bar

Pet Rock Walker